i iwsh i knew

wtf is wrong with me cause I'm sitting here and I'm not well
but i don't think I'm sick
web md says I'm depressed and or stressed
i cant say that I'm not but i don't think that i am
these fucking panic attacks should go eat shit
and let me live my life
now I'm all fucking scared of anything that requires harder breathing
maybe ill just sit around in my room forever and never exhaust myself
or maybe i should go run a million miles and just fucking die...
no i shouldn't do that i love living
i made a couple decisions that i hope i can go through with

cut waayyyy down on my drinking
which leads to cutting down on smoking
practice breathing as dumb as that sounds but apparently i cant control it and that's why this happens to me.
i decided to go vegetarian its been like 2 weeks?? i think
its hard cause I'm not eating much at all anymore i guess i just gotta be more open minded and try all that vegi shit cause ill I've been eating is rice if anything.
anyway no one is ever gonna read this so i don't even know why i bother if you do read all this shit id like to know it'd be nice...
well i suppose i just have to learn how to calm down and breathe and thats harder that it sounds so dont make fun of me pricks!
im out this piece
lots a love
maria.